You Fucking Asshole
11:52 a.m. - 2005-07-13
Some days I just want to fucking tear somebody apart. Today I want that someone to be me.
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I want to fuck myself for once. I want to know just how it feels to be fucked by me.
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"How does it feel? How does it feel? Suck."
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I think I do a lot of the things I do because I know that deep down inside I really do hate myself. I think I am O.K. with that right now.
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I need sleep. I need to stop drinking. It really takes control of me at times. But I am a really good drunk driver.
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Today at work I decided that I fucking hate myself and a lot of the things I do. I really am quite fucked up in the head. That is what they told me, and now I think they may have been right.
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I still don't care though. That is my problem. I don't care enough. I need to start to give a shit.
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I need to care.
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I am not invincible. I am not God. I am not everything I build myself up to be.
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I hate myself.
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I fucking hate myself.
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"I wanna fuck you. I wanna taste you. I wanna feel you. I wanna be you...".
I don't deserve to be alive.
When Everything Was Ugly... - And Ugly It Remains...