| Noose... |
I am sitting here and I wonder, what is it that I know that no one else knows? Now, while fully accepting that this question may inadvertently summon haunting memories from my past, I remain curious. What is it that makes me so goddamn important and necessary to have around? It is for this reason, my dear ____, that I have chosen to inform you a little of what, exactly, it is that I think...
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If we faked something as big as landing on the moon, could it be possible for Christ to have only faked his death, perhaps with a look-alike, only to emerge seemingly unharmed and continue his plans for world domination by means of convincing everyone he was the son of God?
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Cheese is my favorite. Cheesecake too.
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Eskimos are really just the lost people of Atlantis.
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I believe in science. Well, not as much as Tom Cruise does.
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But he was really good in Magnolia.
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I still like Christian Bale more.
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He was good in The Machinist.
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Elephants were used as war machines that killed people and stomped on their heads, and now we pet them in zoos.
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Everything should always be open 24 hours.
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The drinking age should be lowered to 19, the driving age should be 14. Fuckers don't learn not to drink and drive in five years, they never will.
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Wars should be fought between leaders of countries. No civilians, no military. Just the leaders, and they have to use blindfolds. And knives. If it is anything less important than their lives, they will back down.
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Or die for a bad reason.
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Then again, lots of people die for a bad reason.
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Like money. A lot of people die because of money. I would say at least fifty percent of murders involve money. At least.
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Most married couples argue about money more than anything else. Which is why being single is better, because you get to argue about something else more than anything else. Sex is probably the dumbest fucking thing to argue about. It really doesn't matter. In the dark, we don't fucking know what it is in, but it feels good and we are going to finish. It could be anything warm, squishy, and sometimes kinds sticky, smelling faintly of fishing tackle. Sex is a stupid thing to argue about.
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So are boys. Never fight over boys because in the end, we are all going to let you down and we are all going to piss you off. All the time.
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In fact, arguing is dumb. From now own, if you have an argument you have to pay fifteen dollars to the other person just to have that argument. Double if you hit them. Quadruple if you make them bleed.
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Martial arts should be tought in schools every year up to high school. That way everyone would know they all knew karate and could kick major ass. If not, at least there would be huge ninja fights, and ninja fights are cool.
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What the fuck is with typing like you ArE a FuCkInG mOrOn? I hate that shit. I want to punch whoever started that stupid style in the fucking balls. Then shit in their mouth.
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Stupid people.
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People, throughout history, have proven to sometimes be the least intelligent creatures alive. For instance, many are familiar with the Darwin Awards. Others may have heard of the stories behind the Darwin Awards begin as "Woah, dude, have you heard about the one where there was this..." from a friend while you and your group were telling stories your friends heard of about funny ways people died or cut off their balls.
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I would probably piss in their nose too.
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I beat Tetris.
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Yes, there is an end, and I got there once. Because I kick ass.
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Whatever sport white people invent, the blacks or the hispanics are going to do better.
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Except anything on ice. Asians beat us there.
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In fact I don't like white people. We suck. Everything about us sucks. We were never slaves so we have nothing to make people guilty for anything. We aren't killed by the thousands on our borders and in underground tunnels every year for trying to sneak into a country just to try to live better lives. And our skin always tastes too salty. White people piss me off.
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College is hard if you aren't rich.
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Silver is better than gold.
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Reading doesn't have enough RAM to maintain the process. Windows will have to shut down due to an illegal error.
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Books are slow.
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But I do it because I have to.
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Why did they put video on the i-Pod if people are jogging or driving or walking through a dark neighborhood?
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T-shirts aren't cool. They are just useful.
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Oswald didn't shoot Kennedy. Nixon did.
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Or made someone else do it for him. But not Lee Harvey.
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Women should not be allowed to say no to a hello.
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And men should not be allowed to touch on the first date. Unless you ask them to.
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Video games don't cause violence, they cause cancer. Except games made by rappers; those are about violence.
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The government should sponsor days where the second Friday of every month is "Everything you buy is 50% off day."
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One day I will look back on this and wonder what it would be like if I took the other pill...
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Dear Diary,
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Today I got high.