| Noose... |
Fuck you. Would it be easier if I just said that I hate you all. That I only pretend to love you all for what you can give me? Would it be easier if I abandoned you and pretended that I never really loved you. I don't want your fucking blood. I don't want that taste. I don't want your poison either. I don't want you anymore. I don't want any of you. Watch me drop my fucking load. My life is quite up to the challenge of being reformed. Back the fuck off. Do you expect someone to still be able to love if all you ever do is tear their fucking heart and soul away from their body and laugh as you seduce their best friend? You are right. Love and hate are both strong words. "I hate love." What the fuck are you talking about?! I LOVE HATE!!! I love the feeling, the intense heat, the energy, the godliness that it can imbue within me. I bottle it all up, and secretely I wait for the day that some unlucky bitch sets me off enough to fill my fucking bottle. Soon... I am about ready to blow my fucking top, and when I do, you will all be sorry. I hate you all. I will play the martyr, I don't want to see you all hurt. That is, unless I am the one that gets to torture the fuck out of you all. I hate you. I hate all of you. This has brought me nothing but pain and misery. And my misery epiphany is collapsing. I am no longer enjoying this constant state of pain and hurt. I only bleed because you want to watch me suffer. Why did you play with me? You don't want anything serious right now? Then why the fuck did it have to be me? Why the hell did I have to fall in love with you. Please God make it stop. I would give anything to feel good again. I want to be normal. I want to be happy. It will never happen if all I ever do is tear at my own emotions because I am too much of a fucking pansy to hurt the one I love. And don't say I don't love you. I do. That is something that you are going to have to fucking deal with. I'm sorry this will hurt you. I don't mean to make you cry. But why did it have to be me? Why do I have to be the one to feel this way? Why do I have to be the one to suffer? Why me??? I have a deep soul. I have a beautiful mind. But watch how quickly my ocean drains and my rose wilts. It will take awhile for me to mend my heart, but scars shall always remain. I want you all to do me a fucking favor. I have never asked you all for anything, the whole time giving you everything I ever had. I want you a ll to stop playing these fucking games and making me wonder if it would all be so much easier if I just put two great big gashes on both my god damned wrists. I want you all to leave me the fuck alone. I want you all to hate me now as I do. I want you all to laugh when you see my tears of blood stream down my face. I want you all to point and stare when my tears begin to burn. I hate you all. Shut up and leave me the fuck alone. I fucking hate you all. STOP FUCKING TOYING WITH ME!